I'm Sick

And indeed I did not come to call the virtuous, but sinners.
Mt.9:13

Jesus calls Matthew the tax collector, who radically responds with a yes. He knows what he is. Sick and in need of a doctor.

There is the obstacle that prevented me for years from following Jesus. I wouldn't acknowledge I was sick and in need of a doctor. I thought myself a "good person". You could say I was a self-proclaimed virtuous. Virtuous people do exist but the authentic ones are not self-proclaimed. It's an epithet given by others who observe their character. 

My "all good people go to heaven and I'm leading the bunch" attitude was a fatal blindness. Once I saw I was sick in heart I started seriously seeking the physician, just like when I have a toothache I think of nothing but the dentist. 

This self proclaimed virtuousness is a creeping disease that too easily sneaks back into my heart. I am convicted by the Holy Spirit, often, and sent back to the hospital in the field of battle, the confessional in our parish of Saint Matthew's.

Saint Matthew, please pray for me.