I'm Sick

And indeed I did not come to call the virtuous, but sinners.
Mt.9:13

Jesus calls Matthew the tax collector, who radically responds with a yes. He knows what he is. Sick and in need of a doctor.

There is the obstacle that prevented me for years from following Jesus. I wouldn't acknowledge I was sick and in need of a doctor. I thought myself a "good person". You could say I was a self-proclaimed virtuous. Virtuous people do exist but the authentic ones are not self-proclaimed. It's an epithet given by others who observe their character. 

My "all good people go to heaven and I'm leading the bunch" attitude was a fatal blindness. Once I saw I was sick in heart I started seriously seeking the physician, just like when I have a toothache I think of nothing but the dentist. 

This self proclaimed virtuousness is a creeping disease that too easily sneaks back into my heart. I am convicted by the Holy Spirit, often, and sent back to the hospital in the field of battle, the confessional in our parish of Saint Matthew's.

Saint Matthew, please pray for me.

But Wait There's More!

For if the dead are not raised, Christ has not been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, you are still in your sins. 
1Cor.15:16,17

Paul teaches on what all our hope, as believers, hinges. Nothing less than Jesus rising from the dead.

As a non-believer I was like an ancient Greek. The resurrection of Jesus was laughable. When I finally acknowledged that Jesus is alive, everything changed and the biggest change was that I now had hope. I am no longer dead in my sins.

My time on earth is just the title page of the book of my life. Oh what glories await! What an exciting way to live. But wait, there's more!

Jesus, you are the resurrection and the life. I place my trust in you.

Forgive and be Forgiven

I tell you that her sins, her many sins, must have been forgiven her, or she would not have shown such great love. It is the man who is forgiven little who shows little love.
Lk.7:47

Jesus confronts the judgement of Simon the Pharisee with Simon's own unrepentant and cold heart. The extravagant love demonstrated by the woman shows she has been forgiven extravagantly. The miserly love shown by Simon shows little forgiveness has been asked for or received. 

Ask and you shall receive. Divine forgiveness is waiting for me, in spades. I simply need to ask for it. 

However, there is a caveat. I will only be forgiven as much, or as little, as I forgive others. As C. S. Lewis wrote: 

"It is in the Lord's Prayer, it was emphatically stated by our Lord. If you don't forgive you will not be forgiven. No exceptions to it."

This is where it gets hard. This is where I need divine grace to forgive, say, an unrepentant murderer of one of my children. Then, and only then, can I be forgiven.

Could I do that? No. But the power of the Holy Spirit could, through me.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful. Enkindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the earth.

First Love then Speak

If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. 
1Cor.13:1

Paul entreats that love be the motivation behind any and all actions.

Tonight I am to speak at a gathering, giving my testimony. I need to love my listeners before I open my mouth to speak.

Lord, may the words from my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing unto you.
Amen.

Love Comes More Naturally

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly. To the man who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek too;
Lk.6:27-29

What is the great point of difference that sets Christianity apart from all other religions? Love your enemies.

Before I was a Christian, if you'd asked me what is Christianity about, I'd have said, "Some utopian dream about loving your enemies". Even as a non-believer I knew that love was at the core of Christianity. Perhaps this was why I could never completely dismiss it. In my heart I wanted it to be true, I wanted love to reign. 

Nelson Mandela said it most concisely: "No one is born hating another person ... People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."

Love comes more naturally. That's my take home for today.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful. Enkindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your spirit and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the earth.

Pray Where You Are

Jesus went out into the hills to pray; 
Lk.6:12

Jesus is about to choose the twelve apostles, his A team, from his followers. He starts with a night of prayer.

Jesus didn't toss out quick prayers on the run, or maybe he did but they are not recorded. What are recorded are his epic nights of prayer.

I remember my first ever prayer. It was on the beach at Stranraer, Scotland. It was 1981, prior to travelling to Europe with my wife and then one child. I was trying to decide between two vehicles to buy, the vehicle would be our home for the next few months. The purchase would use money reserved for our return flights home to New Zealand. The undertaking was risky and I felt the weight of responsibility. 

My wife was Catholic while I was a non-believer but recall walking on the beach and saying, "God of Kate, if you're up there, which vehicle should I buy?" I then walked up from the beach and bought the CF Bedford van. This was the larger vehicle and worked well as a camper around Europe. Six months later we sold it in London and made 50 pounds on the sale. 

It wasn't until years later that I recalled that answered prayer, and gave thanks for it.

Somehow, prayer moves God's hand. There's a mystery to it. It's now the glue that sticks my family together. If there is one thing we do, we pray.

Jesus, you model a prayerful life. May I always stay connected to you through prayer.

Don't Judge

There must be no passing of premature judgement. Leave that until the Lord comes; he will light up all that is hidden in the dark and reveal the secret intentions of men’s hearts. Then will be the time for each one to have whatever praise he deserves, from God.
1Cor.4:5

Paul instructs the Church to refrain from judging others. God alone knows what is in people's hearts and what is done in secret. I don't.

There is a propensity in me to judge. Time and again my assessment of others has proved incorrect. A recent example is a man whom I judged to be a liberal, armchair Catholic. I was surprised, and convicted, to learn that he has been quietly helping a family nurse a dying family member, even staying overnight to provide respite care. Then I learnt that his wife, whom I had tarred with a similar brush, is a regular helper at a food for the hungry program. 

God alone knows, I don't and so have no grounds on which to lay judgement. 

Jesus, forgive me for the judgments I have been quick to lay on others. I leave all judgement to you and fall on your mercy.

A Fool for God

Make no mistake about it: if any one of you thinks of himself as wise, in the ordinary sense of the word, then he must learn to be a fool before he really can be wise. Why? Because the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God.
1Cor.3:18,19

The world looks at Christian faith as so much foolishness. Christians say yes, we are fools for God. Come and join us.

Worldly wisdom is empirical, it demands measured results. Faith sees past the scales and so has the bigger view. The longest view that faith gives is the view beyond the grave. On this the world is silent. 

Yet, faith still gives measured results. There are fruits from faith. Hope, peace, joy, love. These are all recognised and desired by the world and make faith intriguing. Today, I can be a fool for God and display the fruits of faith. I can be intriguing to the world and say, "Come, join us and be a fool for God".

Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful
and kindle in them the fire of your love.

Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created,
and you shall renew the face of the earth.

Amen.

A time for Milk A time for Meat

I treated you as sensual men, still infants in Christ. What I fed you with was milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it;
1Cor.3:2

Paul writes to the Church in Corinth to entreat them to stop behaving like children, forming little sects. He wants them to grow up and be unified so they are no longer fed on milk but on meat.

I am for Paul, I am for Apollos, I am for Charismatics, I am for Marian devotion. We form little cliques at our peril. The Church is big enough for all expressions of faith, but not at  the exclusion of others. Our differences become our strength once we accept and embrace them all. 

However, there is still a time for milk. During my conversion, my milk was children's Christian music. The simplicity of their message helped me step over my over-thinking adult mind. I need to return to that milk occasionally. 

Jesus, your simple message of love is milk for my soul. 

Jesus loves me this I know,
for the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to him belong,
they are weak but he is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me,
the Bible tells me so.

Habits

Jesus came to Nazara, where he had been brought up, and went into the synagogue on the sabbath day as he usually did. 
Lk.4:16

Jesus had routines, life habits. One was communal worship on the Sabbath.

I've just returned from a week's holiday in Rarotonga. If you're looking for a tropical island experience, I highly recommend Rarotonga. As beautiful as the time was, maybe because it was so beautiful, it broke my daily habits, one being morning prayer. It's good to be reestablishing this habit. 

When our children were little, my wife and I decided to be intentional about creating a Catholic culture in our home. We started with daily family prayer time. At first it was hard. Then slowly it became easier as everyone accepted that's something our family does. We pray. A habit had been established, a culture created.

It's wonderful to now see our children establishing a culture of prayer in their own homes with our grandchildren. And of course the grandchildren know when they stay with grandad and grandma, we pray after dinner, as we usually do. 

Jesus, help me maintain a culture of faith in you.